You gotta laugh at this…

On Sunday, Blake Bergstrom will be teaching at West Campus.  (East campus, you get a great message from Doug Gamble!)  Blake is an incredible communicator and a pastor at Crosspoint Church in Nashville.  I wish I was going to be here to hear him.

Blake has a lot of things he could be known for, but (for better or worse) he is best known nationally for a slip of the tongue in a message he gave to students a few years back at a church he was serving in Colorado.  This slip of the tongue has resulted in about 125,000 views of this clip below.

It is every preacher’s worst nightmare…And I love how he handled it.

Mexico Trip

I flew out of Indy to Mexico early Friday morning with the other “Fellows” (18 pastors from around Indiana) in the Wabash Pastoral Fellowship.   I’ll try to reflect on it over a few blogs.

This is the 5th time I’ve been to Mexico.  One was just a cruise stop in Cozumel.  One was a mission trip, taking Suncrest students to Ensenada to build houses.  One was to visit a church we planted near Mexico City.  And one was to visit some good friends who had moved from Indiana to Monterrey.

All of those trips had their differences, but on the scale of uniqueness this trip easily wins.  We are in far southern Mexico (though it isn’t terribly warm since we are up in the mountains).  “Chiapas” is the name of the state and the city we are based in is “San Cristobal de la Casas”.  It is a fascinating city of about 150,000 people with incredible cultural heritage.

The most enlightening parts of the trip have been our journeys to villages that are still marked by their indigenous traits.  Monday morning we experienced “Day of the Dead” ceremonies in a village outside of San Cristobal.  Most of the people at the church service didn’t even speak spanish…only the native tongue of their people.    Afterwards, the native people prepared a very special meal for us.  The picture above is me drinking the VERY native ‘atole’ and eating a bean mixture in a corn wrap.  (It looked like a tamale, but didn’t exactly taste like one!)

We’ve been quite privileged to have very accomplished and educated religious leaders, educators, anthropologists, and artists interact with us throughout the week.  I’ll write  a full post on the Day of the Dead soon…it is a MAJOR Holiday in Mexico and some of their practices are fascinating.

Reflections on the Ugly

Yesterday I posted some of the texts we received on Sunday.  We were overwhelmed by both the NUMBER of texts and the INTENSITY of the texts.  See the post below for further explanation.

My first reaction to people’s very difficult circumstances is compassion.  My strong prayer is that healing comes and wholeness is restored — by the only one who has the power to make us whole, Christ himself.  Having said that, let me reflect on how God might use some of these very difficult circumstances…

1.  Take Time.  If the wound is fresh, even Jesus says that it takes TIME to gain perspective…”later you will understand”.  God doesn’t waste experiences, but there is usually a season between your hurt and how God might leverage that hurt to help someone else.  But it doesn’t have to be complete healing…waiting for the perfect time will paralyze you into doing nothing.

2.  Heal First.  This is tricky because I think there is a “sense” to this.  You don’t have to be completely healed from your ugly experience to help someone else, but if you have not yet made some progress in processing it, you should focus on getting there first.  God’s grace is essential for this.  There is an old phrase that says “Hurt people hurt people.”  If your ugly experience has produced a hard heart, you are likely to perpetuate the hurt instead of helping someone else.

IMPORTANT COMMERCIAL — If you are trying to heal…you should totally be part of our Celebrate Recovery program on Monday nights.  It is a safe place to work through your hurts, habits, and hang-ups.

3.  Most often, I’ve seen God use people as “Wounded Healers”.  This phrase suggests that your wound is not gone…you can still relate to the pain of the experience you had.  And, it suggests that if you put yourself in a position to help others who are experiencing what you did in the past (or better yet, to keep others from experiencing what you did in the past) — that it could help both them and you.

4.  You can be better or bitter.  I’m not minimizing what you have gone through, but God gives all of us choices in how to respond.  We either grow through it — a hard, but powerful road that is full of grace.  Or we get stuck in a downward spiral that eats us alive and produces darkness in our lives.  It’s not easy..and you can’t do it alone…but ultimately this is our choice in how we respond. 

5.  Let God use your story.  The most powerful helps come out of the most powerful hurts.  Sometimes my favorite thing to do is CONNECT people.  The lady who went through a troubling divorce 10 years ago and struggled as a single mom, but navigated through it…She is the best resource in the world for the lady whose husband just left her.  The former drug addict who has found God’s grace and peace…He is the best person for the one who continually returns to the “escape” of drugs. 

On Sunday, I had a 35 year old woman come up to me.  She was a teenage mom.  She was scared at the time.  She’s been through a lot.  Now?  She is doing the training at the Women’s Center of NWI to counsel other teens in crisis pregnancy.

Maybe your story doesn’t line up that directly, but God can use it.  And it is precisely BECAUSE of your hurt, that you have two resources that I don’t have.  You have the power of EMPATHY.  The ability to truly relate to the situation someone finds himself in.  You felt those feelings.  You walked that road.  Which means you also have the power of CREDIBILITY.  It’s not just that you can relate…it’s that people will really listen to you.  It doesn’t have to be dramatic, but give them a quick look at your scars and you now have a voice in their story.

A voice that could make all the difference for them.

Your Texts. My Respect.

On Sunday at Suncrest, we talked about how God doesn’t waste our experiences — the good, bad, and ugly.  He actually wants to use them (even redeem them) in our stories to now serve someone else.  To make sure we were connecting with the real stuff people have gone through, we (me at west campus…Andy Kaser at east campus) spent the last 15 minutes of the service responding to the various good, bad, and ugly things that people have in their stories.

To say we were overwhelmed at what people sent in might be the understatement of the year.  We expected more bad than good, but my respect for all of our church grew immediately learning about just a slice of the “ugly” people in our church have experienced.  I very much appreciate you being candid enough.  Let me share just a sample of the texts (we got WAY more than we could have ever had time to talk about in each of the 4 services):

-Taking care of Mom for 30 years.  Alzheimer now consumes her and wreaking havoc in my family

-Crack addiction

-Feel alone in my marriage

-Sexually abused leading to drug abuse

-Hardened heart from Divorce

-went bankrupt from bad decisions and bad timing

-Strained business partnership to point of possible dissolvement

-husband divorced me after 13 years…left me with 3 kids/no money

-child dealing with depression

-molested as a child

-Can’t find a job

-No dad

-Cousin killed in Iraq

-I’ve mistreated too many people over the years.

-Loss of a child

-Cheating with the same sex

-No trust in men because of my father

-Dad was/is a drunk

-Car accident.  I was driver and lived.  Best friend died.

-Divorce, Suicide attempt

That’s not all of them, but you get the idea.  In addition to this UGLY stuff, there were quite a few GOOD parts of stories shared too.  My favorite part?  I’m biased, but I loved the people who said finding Suncrest was the good in their stories.

I’ll put in the next post my best advice for responding to all of this pain/ugliness in our stories.

Africa…Jack…5K…and Quiznos

It seems like every time I mention Africa people are interested in a  conversation…or giving something toward the cause.

Continuing my role as Jack’s publicist, he’s received about $150 more for his entrepreneurial pumpkin seed project.  He’s now raised well over $300 doing this gig.  He smiles every time…truth is he is just focused on the clean water it will bring.  Thanks for all of your very encouraging support.

On Saturday, I ran the 5K to support Project 131 — our effort in Liberia, Africa.  It was a cold morning, but it turned out to be pretty good for running.  I ran with a friend from Suncrest and Jenny’s brother who came in to town.  We finished at 29 minutes…just over 9 minutes/mile.  The best part…they raised over $2000 for the Africa Mission.

Looking for a simple way to help?  Go eat at Quiznos in St. John after church on Sunday.  Steve (the owner) has decided to give 10% of all purchases from noon to 3pm to help the mission.  Steve doesn’t even go to our church…he just loves some of our people and has a heart to help.

169th out of 182?

HDI is a measurement of the Human Development Index

Suncrest has been partners with Danny and Bea Buegar for all 15 years of our history.  Many around here know them personally, but only a few of us have had face to face interaction with them over the last 5 years because they returned to very challenging circumstances in their home country of Liberia, Africa.

There is a lot that could be said about my respect for the church-planting ministry they lead there.  It is not an exaggeration to say they have given their life to that ministry and to their native — and troubled — country of Liberia.

Last week, a friend passed on to me a website that recently ranked the development of nations on the face of the globe.  In a survey of 182 nations on the face of the earth, Liberia Ranked in the “Low Human Development” category at 169th.  It measures a variety of factors like Life Expectancy, literacy rates, GDP per capita (they are 179th of 182 on this measurement).

If you are interested the worldwide report is available by clicking here.  The “fact sheet” report specifically on Liberia is available by clicking here.

It only confirmed what I experienced on the ground there in February.  There is great need in this country and for the Buegar’s ministry there.  These needs become powerful opportunities for us to serve them…and to show them that Christ-followers truly care about them.  And that opens doors for the gospel in powerful ways.

Staff Retreat Wrapping Up

You should love our staff.  These guys give their whole hearts and lives to serving and leading around Suncrest.  Every one of them — and I mean every single one — serves with unselfishness and focus on our mission.  I know I love them…and I’m extremely grateful for them.

By the time you read this, we will likely be in our last sessions of the staff retreat and heading for home.  It’s been a solid 2 days of wrestling with leadership issues, talking about suncrest’s future plans over the next 6-12 months, and building the chemistry of our team.

Thank you for your prayers…and keep them going.  We need them as we wrap things up.

The Picture?  4 of our staff (Chris, Julie, David, and Doug) who are ready with harnesses and helmets to ride a zipline over a big lake.  There are lots of stories from this retreat — some sermon illustration material and some never to be told.

Pumpkins Everywhere

I know I’m staring down another full week with a 2 day off-site staff retreat and more time away beginning the following week, so I determined Saturday would be a day for the family.

And it was a great day.  It was plenty cold at 9:00am at the Soccer fields, but Jack scored another goal (that makes five in the last two weeks after a 2 YEAR drought).  He’s got a taste of the feeling now, so we’ll see where that goes.

Then, we came home and went to work on decorating our pumpkins.  Jack and Abby each have a Giant Pumpkin that they grew in Grandpa’s garden and we’ve picked up some normal sized ones along the way too. 

The kids (and Jenny and I) had an absolute blast!!

• There was the “oh gross!” moments of reaching their hands into the pumpkins to pull the stuff out.
• There was their preferences on how each of their pumpkins would be carved.  Both of the kids have very strong senses of EXACTLY what they want.
• There was the decorating of some pumpkins with pieces that make silly faces.
• There was the multiple “Don’t touch that knife” moments…like every time I had to set it down.

Jack wanted to save ALL the seeds from the Giant Pumpkins.  Grandpa told him to save a few so they could plant them again, but he was determined to save ALL of them.  I asked him what we were going to do with the extra 100 or so.

His answer cracked me up.  He said we should sell them for Africa.  He thought $1/seed would be fair.  I told him I thought that might be a little steep.  Then he went into a very personal description of the dirty water the kids there have to drink and how he wanted to get them water systems.  I think his exact quote was “Dad, Kids shouldn’t have to drink gross water, should they?”

I’d have to agree with him there.

So…as I was saying…

I’m getting a lot of feedback on yesterday’s post (which doubled as my weekly email to the church).  Kind of interesting to me.  Here are a few thoughts…

1.  It was personal and reflective, but I didn’t think it was earth-shattering.  I have to imagine most people feel the intensity of some of life’s seasons.  I’d be shocked if you didn’t.  And…I’d be shocked if you thought I didn’t.

2.  Of course, not everyone blogs about those seasons!  The purpose of me sharing it was that I think we should.  You don’t have to blog about it…but you shouldn’t fake your way through it.  Living authentically is your only hope for real relationships.  I’d be a mess if I felt like I had to cover up my struggles and doubts, wouldn’t you?  So, at it’s best, the blog is just me going first with a community of people I trust.  Your turn…

3.  Do I wonder what people will think?  Uhhh…Am I human? Yes.  The response has been kind of interesting to me.

• The people who love me…got lots of nice emails saying people would pray for me.  I sincerely appreciate that because I sincerely believe it helps me. It has already.
• The people who only see me on stage…there were a few “thanks for reminding us you are human.”  I guess the “Pastor” title still has some baggage on that front.  Hang out with one of us and you’ll see we are more normal (and more fun) than you probably imagine.
• The people who are afraid I’m going to die…Did it sound that bad?  Really?  Like I tried to say…the season is intense, but not awful.  The last part about God being in control was not just trying to give the reflection a happy ending.  It’s what I know is ACTUALLY TRUE about life.  So joy and peace and gratitude are all very central to my life.
• Other pastors who read my blog…Their theme was something like this:  “You said it.  I feel it.  I can’t believe you said it.  I wish I could say it.  Thanks for saying it.”  A few guys I really respect said some very encouraging things to me.  I appreciate that a lot.
• My mentor…John Wasem called me and it was one of the best conversations I’ve had in a long time.  He loves me.  He’s been there.  My respect for him is off the charts.  He asked me some probing questions that were very helpful and it’s always good to talk to a great friend.

4.  I guess if there was a doubt in posting it, it was this:  I’m a leader to a lot of people and the conventional wisdom on leadership in the past has been something like this:  Don’t show your struggle.  Never let them see you sweat.  People need a leader who is always confident, always has life by the tail, can handle any problem without showing vulnerability.  Ultimately, the message is “fake it if you have to...your people need you to be unflappable.”  I get that.  And it may even still be true in some settings if success equals producing more “widgets”.

Overall though, I think that’s old thinking.  Even more, I think it would be toxic given our mission.  Since we are trying to build a community where truth meets life…and accomplish a mission that begins and ends with changing people’s lives — I’m pretty sure faking it or hiding a struggle isn’t the best leadership move. 

Is this an argument for weak leadership?  Not for a second.  It is an acknowledgement that my strength is not my own.  I’ll wrap this whole thing up with the best guidance I have received from another church leader…The Apostle Paul.  I don’t think you have to be a pastor to resonate with this:

That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:10)

I can do everything through him who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:13)

“But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed…” (2 Timothy 4:17)

Life is Full

A little window into my life this morning…This isn’t necessarily dramatic, but it is candid. I ask Suncrest to be real with each other so this is me being real with you. This fall been one of the most intense seasons of my life. Some good. Some not so good. Very demanding. I feel like I’ve failed at some things personally and church-wise. I’ve also seen God work in some powerful ways – both through me and in spite of me. It hasn’t been an awful season…or the best season…just the most intense.

IMPORTANT: If you start feeling sorry for me when you read this…PLEASE STOP. Stop feeling sorry…and stop reading if you have to! :-) That would miss the whole point. The point is your life and my life are probably a lot alike. And the last 5 bullet points are BY FAR the most important.

I’m just reflecting here in some random bullet-point form about my thoughts from the past couple months…

-THRIVE was one of the most powerful series we have ever done…it generated a lot of intense and personal and time-intensive conversations.

-People re-calibrating their lives is huge and I think it’s hard to step right into another big thing like SERVOLUTION.

-I feel like we’ve had trouble getting SERVOLUTION “off the ground”. I could be wrong, but it feels too preachy to me…

-I know this about myself: When I get tired it shows up in my teaching. Sermons become more finger pointing and “you should” rather than insightful and “what if we did?”

-I’m praying hard that your community group is providing great inspiration to you here to fill the gap…and when you do jump in to serve somewhere you will experience the joy of it.

-I preached in Chapel at my alma mater last week. Getting invited back as an alum to help mark a significant change at the institution was a great honor…

-But I felt like the sermon I preached in Chapel wasn’t very good. (You ever been in a place you really wanted to hit a home run, but you just grounded out to the pitcher?)

-Jenny is trying to meet the needs of some of our neighbors by helping get kids on the bus in the morning. It makes for a full house from 6:45-8:15 most every morning.

-The Cardinals got swept in the playoffs. Ugh!

-I haven’t blogged for 10 days…I started to type late at night a couple times (embarrassingly late, actually) and fell asleep at the computer.

-It is budget time. And offerings that were strong in the spring are not so strong now. What does next year hold? God knows.

-By every measure out there, Suncrest is short-staffed for our size. It makes us creative and focused. It also creates a “plates spinning” environment.

- I keep praying for someone to make a $2.5 million gift to the church so we can take the $20,000/month we spend on a mortgage payment and use it for staff or other needs.

-I’ve preached every week for a while. I love that. It’s my favorite thing to do.

-I’ve preached every week for a while. I hate that. At it’s worse, the sermon is “the term paper due every week”.

-I get lots of people who want things from me or the church. That’s usually a good thing…they see a chance to make a difference in someone’s life.

-It’s only frustrating when the requests are more about personal preferences than kingdom-mission. That’s human nature, I guess.

-Jenny is serving in more areas than she ever has at church…Children’s ministry, visual arts, and going on the Africa Mission trip in February. I want it no other way.

-Every night she has had an Africa meeting, I’ve had another meeting. Is it good to farm the kids out so we can serve the church? We are blessed with great sitters.

-A very generous soul has given me the gift of unlimited free golf at a very nice local golf course. I used it only twice this summer. That makes me sick.

-I’ve had to have my share of “hard conversations” with people lately. I don’t know anyone who likes those. I know I don’t.

-God has placed some huge opportunities in front of us for next year…I want to tackle all of them. Not sure we can. But who wants to miss an opportunity?

-We keep seeing lives changed. We keep baptizing people at both campuses. As a pastor I know says, “THAT never gets old!”

-After I felt like Sunday’s sermon on “your gifts” was kind of a dud, the first three people I saw in the hallway told me they were jumping in to serve.

Which reminds me…

-God is always at work. He does not grow tired or weary…even if we do.

-Jesus really did overcome death…he can overcome any of my stuff (and any of yours).

-The Holy Spirit really does live inside of me. He guides me as much as I let him. The strength he makes available is limitless. But he doesn’t force it on us.

-In the midst of everything, when I stop to consider all God has given me there is no appropriate response except gratitude.

-I am pretty sure I have the greatest job in the world.

I love you, suncrest. Thanks for being authentic in who you are and encouraging me to do the same. This Sunday I’m going to talk about our passions and how they are God’s signal to us on where to serve. Can’t wait to see you!